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When Wives are the Primary Breadwinner

A new study about couples where wives are the primary breadwinner yields interesting findings. First, in about one-third of all marriages in America, women are making more money than their husbands. And in most of these marriages, financial decision-making is shared equally between both spouses.Julie Brines, a sociology professor at Unversity of Washington in Seattle was interviewed with me on the Diane Rehm Show (WAMU-radio - audio available on the Internet) and confirmed my earlier reports that when women make more money than their husbands, they still want shared, joint decision-making.

Earlier research showed, sadly, that when men make more than their wives, they feel they should have the primary say in how the money is spent. I hope this is changing, since shared power and shared decision-making in money matters, and other matters, in fact, leads to more intimacy and more mutual fulfillment in marriage.

Several years ago, studies of same-sex couples bore out this gender difference. In gay male couples, if one partner made more, he felt he should have prime decision-making authority. In lesbian couples, even if one made significantly more, the couple opted for shared, democratic decision-making. In my speeches and seminars, I often talk about male-female differences with a view to building a bridge between two different "cultures." But in the area of decision-making, shared power and open communication, I think the woman needs to be the teacher in advocating the importance of operating from a stance of two equal partners, regardless of the income differences. Let's hope the world keeps changing in this direction. It bodes well for the future of marriage and couple relationship stability.